Dreams Blog

October 30, 2015

Undefeated
The Knicks are undefeated. It was only the season opener and it was against Minny but how often do you think I could write that.
They ran an up-paced game and were a team with whom I was unfamiliar. Don’t get me wrong- I liked it.
OK. The real Knicks showed up to play Atlanta and looked it. “Zingo” has to get more muscle. He had the ball taken from him several times and was even stuffed by a much shorter player. Yet he was able to have players alter their shots because of his presence.
Hold That Plane
The Sports Curmudgeon wrote, “According to a report, QB Ryan Mallett missed the team charter flight to Miami and had to catch a commercial flight to get to the game. Evidently, this is not the first time that Mallett has not been on time for team events and coach Bill O’Brien wanted to release Mallett but he was over-ruled by the GM. On the assumption that report is accurate, that tells me that O’Brien is not in charge of the team and most coaches are not going to be happy with that state of affairs for very long. Football coaches are control freaks.
Bill O’Brien got the job in Houston because of the exceptional job he did in keeping the Penn State football program from going into the sewer in the aftermath of the Jerry Sandusky miasma. If I were an Athletic Director at one of those major schools that needed a coach, I would quietly contact O’Brien’s agent to inquire if – perhaps – he might be interested in returning to the college ranks where “higher ups” would not question his decisions regarding who is on the team and who is not on the team. After all, it is not as if the Texans are bound for any sort of football glory this season – and perhaps the next few also…
Molinaro Notes
Bob Molinaro (Hampton Roads-Pilot) According to that report, QB Ryan Mallett missed the team charter flight to Miami and had to catch a commercial flight to get to the game. Evidently, this is not the first time that Mallett has not been on time for team events and coach Bill O’Brien wanted to release Mallett but he was over-ruled by the GM. On the assumption that report is accurate, that tells me that O’Brien is not in charge of the team and most coaches are not going to be happy with that state of affairs for very long. Football coaches are control freaks.
Bill O’Brien got the job in Houston because of the exceptional job he did in keeping the Penn State football program from going into the sewer in the aftermath of the Jerry Sandusky miasma. If I were an Athletic Director at one of those major schools that needed a coach, I would quietly contact O’Brien’s agent to inquire if – perhaps – he might be interested in returning to the college ranks where “higher ups” would not question his decisions regarding who is on the team and who is not on the team. After all, it is not as if the Texans are bound for any sort of football glory this season – and perhaps the next few also…
After Game 1 of the World Series, baseball mavens referenced another Fall Classic game that went 14 innings, when Babe Ruth pitched for the 1916 Boston Red Sox and went all 14 for the win. Even more amazing, the losing pitcher that day is believed to have been Bartolo Colon.
The trip to the World Series is even sweeter for Mets third baseman David Wright after he missed more than three months of the season rehabbing his back in Florida. “It’s been a long road for me personally,” he said after the Amazins closed out the Cubs. “Every day in rehab, I dreamt about this moment.”
According to what a Louisville basketball player said at ACC Media Day, Rick Pitino’s job is secure. I’m shocked. Shocked!
Perry Patter
Dwight Perry (Seattle Times) wrote, “Ronda Rousey, comfortable in her own skin? You bet.
“I love feeling like I’m inhabiting the body of a ninja,” the 28-year-old UFC star told Self magazine. “Like I could rob a liquor store with my bare hands if I wanted to.
“But I also like when I eat a little more, fill out and get a little bit curvier. I feel more feminine.”
At Fark.com: “Ravens offense loses communication with sideline during final drive / Patriots docked a 2nd- and 6th-round pick.”
At SportsPickle.com: “Foster tears Achilles, still doesn’t believe in Greek mythology.”;
The Bills’ E.J. Manuel — courtesy of Sunday’s 34-31 loss to the Jaguars in London — became the first QB to lose an NFL game in three countries: the U.S., Canada and England.Washington’s Congressional Cemetery imported 100 billy goats to help landscape its grounds.
Which means the Cubs probably won’t ever beat the Nationals again.
Joe Posnanski of NBCsports.com, on MLB traditionalists’ aversion to bat-flipping: “If Neil Armstrong had played by baseball’s stupid unwritten rules of decorum, he would have whispered, ‘Yeah, I’m on the moon.’ ”;
Commenter Ajigel, posting to NBCsports.com, on the 2-5 49ers: “When the Raiders are looking like the model Bay Area franchise, you know things have gone sideways.”;
Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on Army’s junior wide receiver, Edgar Allan Poe: “If he’s the only Edgar Allan Poe you’ve heard of, you may want to watch a little less football.”;
According to University of Vermont biologists, 150 species of Ice Age mammals going extinct has left Earth’s ecosystem with a serious dung shortage.
Only one remedy for that: More boxing press conferences!
A hunting dog shot its owner in the foot when it stepped on a 12-gauge shotgun, the Indiana Department of Natural Resources reported.
No need to rename the dog Plaxico, though — its name is Trigger
LSU must be proud of Charles
Charles Barkley, on TNT’s “Inside the NBA,” calling the Lakers the fourth-best team in California: “They lucky the (WNBA) Sparks ain’t playing, they’d be the fifth.”

Dreams Blog

October 23, 2015

Busy Week
My Goodness- Met Pennant Hunt, Jets Win, Giants loss. Whoo Boy, I’m tired and need a nap!
Let’s Go Mets
Congratulations to the Mets organization for taking the NL title, one to go.
Iggles 27 Giants 7
The Giants lose quite a lot of games in Philly. This time they started well going right down the field for a TD but then went to sleep- so I did also. The game quite clearly showed there was no pass rush or pass defense on the field even though NY had 3 INTS. Philly averaged 7 yds per passing play (incl. int’s & sacks) to NY’s 4, and Philly still won the game.
Jets 34 DC’s 20
Good game for the Green Guys. Total net yards were 474-225. The allowed only 34 rushing yards & had 2 int’s plus a sack. Ivory rushed 20 for 146.
Knicks News
Ian Begley (ESPN.com) wrote, “It’s way too early to make any grand statements about the Knicks, but it seems that they want to play at a much quicker pace this season.
“We want guys to understand that it’s OK to go down and try to score as quickly as possible. We’re not running to set up an offense, The game that we’re running to go score,” Knicks coach Derek Fisher said. “[This] hopefully just continues to free them from the idea that we have to run the offense a certain way as opposed to just taking what the defense gives you. We’re trying to make sure they understand that.”
The quicker pace may be indicative of a subtle shift in philosophy for the Knicks. It showed
Fisher seems to be more comfortable this season with players looking for scoring opportunities outside of the framework of the triangle offense.
Take Derrick Williams, for example. The reserve forward has led the Knicks in scoring in the past two preseason games. Williams has scored on plays both in and out of the traditional triangle set –– and Fisher is OK with that.
“That’s obviously the way it should be,” Fisher said. “We can practice running the offense, helping guys understand where opportunities come from, where shots may lie. But at the end of the day, they’re on the floor and they’re out there as NBA players, and they should just make plays that they instinctively feel. So a player like Derrick will never really always necessarily be in the right spot [in the offense] because his instincts tell him something else.
“We have to trust that and find a balance between giving Derrick, as well as all of our players, the room to be who they are. But have some balance when it’s time … to execute as a five-man unit. We don’t want to take away his individual ability by putting him in a box.”
Or keeping him in the confines of a triangle.
Mind-bender
Bob Molinaro (Hampton Roads Pilot) wrote:Wake Forest’s 3-0 victory over Boston College last week produced the weirdest football stat of this and maybe any week, courtesy of Joe Giglio of the Raleigh News and Observer: “Under Dave Clawson, Wake Forest is 2-1 in ACC games when it doesn’t score a touchdown and 0-8 when it does.” Give this one time to sink in.
Perry Patter
Dwight Perry (Seattle Times) wrote, “A garage-sale shopper in Fresno, Calif., came away with quite the $2 find: an 1878 photo of Wild West bad-boy Billy the Kid — playing croquet.
Bet Billy’s participation kept any rules arguments to a minimum.”
Sports quiz
Q: What did retired soccer great Juli Veee and the Texas Rangers’ infield have in common this week?
A:Three straight E’s.
Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, serenading his state’s three NFL teams — the 2-3 Buccaneers, 1-3 Dolphins and 1-4 Jaguars — to the tune of “Three Blind Mice”:
“Three bad teams; three bad teams; see how they lose; see how they lose;
They fire their coaches; they miss their kicks;
Jameis Winston just threw four picks.
They’re a football version of the New York Knicks;
Three bad teams …”
The NFL suspended side judge Rob Vernatchi for one week with pay after he failed to detect the clock operator letting 18 seconds elapse off the clock in the final three minutes of Monday night’s Steelers-Chargers game.
On the bright side, he just clinched this year’s Rosemary Woods Award.
Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, with a title suggestion for a Sepp Blatter biopic: “The Line on Ethics: Bend It Like Blatter.”;
Headline at SportsPickle.com: “Cubs’ 105-year rebuilding plan beginning to bear fruit.”;
Just-retired South Carolina football coach Steve Spurrier, not impressed that he was still coaching at age 70: “The pope is 77 years old, and he’s in cha rge of a billion people. All I have to do is put 11 on the field.”
Oakland A’s GM Billy Beane’s residence used about 6,000 gallons of water daily in drought-stricken California, according to the Septembe r report from the East Bay Municipal Utility District, but he’s blaming it on three irrigation leaks.
Looks like finding a stopper will be high on his offseason shopping list.
NBC’s Seth Meyers, after Playboy announced it will stop running nude photos next year: “So now if you want to see a naked woman you’ll have to go to HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, the Internet, Burning Man, a PETA protest, perfume ads or ESPN The Magazine.”;
Times reader Bill Littlejohn, after a Japanese swordsman halved a baseball going 100 mph from 30 feet: “Well, it started out as a fastball and ended up being a splitter.”;
RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, after the Rockets’ James Harden told NBA.com he’s the best player in the NBA and should have been last season’s MVP: “Is it possible for someone’s beard to be too tight?” The Indianapolis Colts are 25-13 the past two-plus NFL regular seasons — 15-0 against their AFC South rivals and 10-13 against the rest of the league.
Reader Chas K, to the Cleveland Plain Dealer: “Interesting weekend: I saw the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny and the Browns’ pass rush.”
This reader could have, also, been referring to the Giants.

Dreams Blog

October 16, 2015

Congratulations
Go out to the entire Mets organization for being able to take the next step on their post season trip.
Mets-Utley
Before I begin I want to extol, once again, the work of the Mets batting coach, Kevin Long. The Mets wouldn’t be where they are without him,
The Sports Curmudgeon.net didn’t completely agree with the suspension and said, “As I understand the rule here, an important aspect of the “illegality” is contained in the phrase “away from the base”. I cannot see where Utley was “away from the base” and a suspension here sets a precedent that I doubt baseball wants to set i.e. the violence of a collision or the outcome of a collision has an effect on the determination of “guilt” in the matter.
No sooner did I write this when the Mets’ bats went silent. I thought I jinxed them. Then I realized that it wasn’t me it was Kershaw. Yeah! That’s the ticket- it was Kershaw.
Giants 30 49ers 27
There were times while watching the game that I yelled at the TV for the team D to guard someone and get to the QB. I could see them losing the game, again, in the last few minutes. But they overcame their shakiness and won by playing with a lot of grit.
The Niners came out throwing in the 2nd half but NY answered with 2 sacks, 2 INTS, & 2 forced fumbles. Eli didn’t throw that well only going 21-54, 441 and the Giants had 525 TTL Yds, to 360 for SF. This was a big win putting NY in 1st place by themselves.
Knick News
The SC added, “Moving right along, you have probably read reports about a confrontation between Matt Barnes and Derek Fisher. Here is how Scott Ostler summed it up in the SF Chronicle last weekend:
“Matt Barnes beats up Derek Fisher because Fisher is dating Barnes’ estranged wife, Gloria Govan. Can’t blame Fisher. Since Barnes is dating other women, Fisher assumed Govan had cleared waivers.”
I think there is another angle at work here:
Phil Jackson hired Derek Fisher to coach the Knicks specifically because Fisher was steeped in the triangle offense and could teach the triangle offense to the Knicks.
Perhaps – I said PERHAPS – Fisher was merely finding out how things work in a different sort of “triangle
Jovian Grant
6-4 198, is a project, for the Knicks, of whom Ian Begley says, “The guess here is that Grant’s pick-and-roll prowess and aggressive nature in transition will translate well in the NBA. We’d bet that, over the course of his career, Grant ends up as a starter or strong role player instead of a bust.”
Molinaro Maranara
Bob Molinaro (Hampton Roads-Pilot) wrote, “In a video snippet from an NBA exhibition, Steph Curry makes a fastbreak wrap-around pass, runs to the corner for a return pass, launches a 3, then slaps palms with Golden State teammate Andre Iguodala just before his shot hits the bottom of the net. The best show in sports is back.
Maybe Thursday night’s NFL game between Houston and Indianapolis turned out to be the exception – though given the teams, I don’t see how that could be – but CBS’ Thursday night showcases generally have been sloppy, uninspired affairs. You think asking teams to perform after a short week might have something to do with that? Ah, but Roger Goodell loves the idea.”
Perry Patter
Dwight Perry (Seattle Times) wrote, “The late Yogi Berra, as quoted in SI.com, when Kirby Puckett landed a record $3 million-a-year contract in 1990: “If Branch Rickey was alive today, he’d roll over in his grave.”
The Washington Nationals are apparently considering ironman Cal Ripken Jr. as their next manager, Fox Sports reported.
For the record, Cal would be 105 years old when he breaks Connie Mack’s record of 50 consecutive seasons managed.
An employee at a chicken-processing plant that supplies KFC lost two fingertips while on the job.
Even worse, he got blood all over his lucky Jason Pierre-Paul jersey.
“I have a few tickets left for the game Sunday,” tweeted owner Jed York of the bedraggled 49ers. “Let me know if you can make it. #FaithfulFanTix”;
Bad idea. Tweeted 49ers fan Jake Echanove in response: “I can’t give my tickets away either, Jed.”;
Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on the wide-open race for the Nobel Prize in literature: “Although I’m pretty sure we can eliminate ‘It’s Good to be Gronk.’ ”
“What with the spraying of Champagne and the wearing of goggles, baseball players celebrate awfully hard after making the playoffs,” wrote Bob Molinaro of the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot. “Shouldn’t they at least survive a round before popping the bubbly?”
Alas, the visiting team won seven of MLB’s first nine playoff games.
So these teams played 162 games to earn home-field advantage because …?
Warriors center Andrew Bogut, to San Francisco’s KNBR Radio, on sniping from the hated-rival Clippers: “I’ve got my (championship) ring fitted for my middle finger.”
Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, after FIFA’s ethics committee suspended embattled president Sepp Blatter for 90 days: “Shocking — FIFA has an ethics committee?”
Backup QB Matt Hasselbeck, after leading the Colts to their second straight win, when asked if the virus that had kept him out of practice was contagious: “No, but I told J.J. Watt that it was.”
Happy trails, Steve Spurrier. His career mark is 228 -89-2
Three of the sharp-tongued Ol’ Ball Coach’s best quips:
On Tennessee missing out on the Sugar Bowl: “You can’t spell Citrus without U-T.”;
On Florida State’s off-field issues: “You know what FSU stands for, don’t you? Free Shoes University.”;
On a fire that destroyed 20 books at the Auburn library: “The real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.”;
If the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ secondary — after getting torched for four TD passes by the Jags’ Blake Bortles on Sunday — is looking for a theme song for player introductions, here’s a suggestion: “Stand By Your Man.”;
Cubs reliever Hector Rondon got stuck in the bullpen bathroom for several minutes during Game 1 of the NL Division Series after the door latch froze.
Making Chicago’s the first bullpen in need of both a closer and an opener.

Dreams Blog

October 9, 2015

Jets 27 Dolphins 14
This was a BIG game for the Jets in the way they neutralized Suh and out rushed Miami 207-59 behind Ivory’s 166. Fitzpatrick was 16-29.218 with 2 picks and 3 sacks. Miami had 167 in the air along with 2 INTs and 3 sacks.
Marshall had 7 catches for 128 yds.
Giants 24 Bills 10
I admit I didn’t see this coming. Spag’s “No Name Lunch-Pail” defense held the Bills’ ground game to 55 yds. and stopped them in the 4th while the Giants put up 8 (including a 2 pt conversion).
The G-Men kept their cool while the Bills had 17 penaSuh lties for 135 yards to the Giants’ 11-88. Aside from the number of flags most of the other stats were pretty even.
Funny, I Don’t Think It Is
It’s strange how these personal fouls follow Ndamukong Suh around. This isn’t about overly aggressive play, he was flagged for kicking Jets QB Ryan Fitzpatrick in the head. The NFL reviewed the foul and ruled it was inadvertent and not deliberate. He was called for this in an earlier game. His feet must be too large to control. In an earlier game, Suh stepped on the players head.
Rondo It Goes
The Sports Curmudgeon told us that, “Rajon Rondo has clashed with coaches and teammates in his prior venues and was basically asked by the Dallas Mavericks to stay away from the team in the midst of the playoffs last year. Not only that, but when it came time to share in the playoff money the team earned, the Mavs stiffed Rondo. Ask yourself these questions:
Just how big a pain-in-the-ass must he have been in Dallas? In
What might convince the geniuses who run the Mavs that the serenity that encircles the Dallas franchise might mellow out such a
pain-in-the-ass?”
Molinaro Maranara
Bob Molinaro (Hampton Roads-Pilot) wrote: “What with the spraying of champagne and the wearing of goggles, baseball players celebrate awfully hard after making the playoffs. Shouldn’t they at least survive a round before popping the bubbly?
Because Thursday was the 40th anniversary of the Thrilla in Manila between Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier, this may be a good time for baby boomers to inform the Millennials of what a big deal boxing used to be, the same way the newspapers they don’t read once were.
The NCAA is forcing basketball coach Larry Brown to sit out nine games this season after academic monkey business was uncovered at SMU, while Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim – like Brown, a famous member of the Basketball Hall of Fame – also is suspended by the NCAA for a portion of the season. If this isn’t an argument for building a rogues’ gallery in the Springfield, Mass., museum, I don’t know what is.
Jordan Spieth’s caddie, Michael Greller, is calculated to have made more than $2 million this season lugging around a bag for the world’s best golfer. The Big Lead website notes that this would put Greller 39th on the PGA Tour money list.
Finally: Kids in the Mercer Island school district in Washington state are now prohibited from playing tag at recess. It’s being done in an effort, the district spokesperson said, to teach students to “keep their hands to themselves.” You can’t make up stuff like this.
Perry Patter
Dwight Perry (Seattle Times) wrote, “Take that, you Kobe Bryant critics who say he never passes anything.
He just passed his physical.
Ex-CBS golf commentator David Feherty, after an errant tee shot: “That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn’t find it even if it was wrapped in bacon.”;
Ex-football coach Lou Holtz, to the Allentown (Pa.) Morning Call, on the state of his golf game: “While a lot of people want to shoot their age, I’m trying to shoot my weight. If I gain 5 pounds, I think I can do that.”
The Longhorns got penalized 16 times for 128 yards in Saturday’s 30-27 loss to Oklahoma State.
Or as Horns rivals gleefully call it, the yellow woes of Texas. (OOF)
Bartman — the Cubs fan villified for interfering with Moises Alou’s catch in the 2003 NL Championship Series — could be getting a free trip to the team’s play-in game in Pittsburgh, USA Today reported.
Fellow Cubs fan Keque Escobedo has started a GoFundMe account to raise $5,000 for Bartman’s flight, hotel room and ticket.
And if the reclusive Bartman refuses the offer? They can always send a billygoat.
The Jets are taking 350 rolls of toilet paper to London for the game with the Dolphins. The game plan against the Dolphins, we assume, calls for lots of rollouts.
The Mets are selling the champagne bottles that players emptied in the clubhouse while celebrating the team’s NL East title.
They’ll be available for pickup, we assume, in the bottom of the fifth.
Bengals receiver A.J. Green has amassed 28 catches for 570 yards and five touchdowns in his last five games against the Ravens.
“One of these days we’ll figure out how to cover A.J. Green,” Baltimore coach John Harbaugh told the Cincinnati Enquirer. “It’d be nice if we did that before he retires.”
The late Yogi Berra, as quoted in SI.com, when Kirby Puckett landed a record $3 million-a-year contract in 1990: “If Branch Rickey was alive today, he’d roll over in his grave.”
NBC’s Jimmy Fallon, on a study claiming that David Beckham and his wife Victoria Beckham are richer than Queen Elizabeth: “In other words, Posh Spice is doing better than Old Spice.”
Jim Barach, the record 730 penalties in the NFL season’s first three weeks: “Just another sign, along with their 2-1 record, that the Raiders are finally back in playoff form.”
Reader Chas K, to the Cleveland Plain Dealer, after Browns coach Mike Pettine said his squad “looked like a scout team” in a 27-20 loss to the Raiders: “Girl or Cub?”;
Two greyhounds at Bluffs Run Greyound Park in Council Bluffs, Iowa, have tested positive for potential PEDs.
Which probably explains why the hounds’ back legs started smoking at the starting line.”

Dreams Blog

October 2, 2015

Eagles 24 Jets 17
Rich Cimini (ESPNNY) wrote, “The New York Jets didn’t do many things right on Sunday. One of them came after the game. Todd Bowles was asked if Geno Smith could “move up the depth chart” — clever phrasing by a reporter — and the coach shut down any notion of a potential Smith-for-Ryan Fitzpatrick change.
“Ryan’s our starter,” Bowles said matter-of-factly.
And that was all he said about that.
This is no time to launch a “Geno for quarterback” campaign. Remember, we’re talking about Geno Smith, he of 34 interceptions in 29 starts. Fitzpatrick was good enough to help the Jets to two victories, and we know he can win if they adhere to a specific script. On Sunday, they went way off the script. They couldn’t run the ball, and that cushy field position from the first two games — courtesy of defensive takeaways — was nonexistent.
Brace yourself, because there will be more games like this. The defense can’t force five turnovers every week and the running game will have days when it sputters. If those days start to stack up, Bowles will go back to Smith, his No. 1 guy before IK Enemkpali unleashed his infamous punch.
Brace yourself, because there will be more games like this. The defense can’t force five turnovers every week and the running game will have days when it sputters. If those days start to stack up, Bowles will go back to Smith, his No. 1 guy before IK Enemkpali unleashed his infamous punch.
The Eagles’ strategy was simple: Double Marshall, overplay the run and dare anyone else to beat them.
No one took the dare, and the pitch-and-catch game between Fitzpatrick and Marshall (10 receptions, 109 yards) wasn’t nearly enough.
Knicks’ News
Ian Begeley (ESPNNY) wrote, “Carmelo Anthony said that he plans to play a “big brother” role for New York Knicks rookie Kristaps Porzingis this season — further dispelling the notion that he was upset about the team drafting the 20-year-old European.
“I kind of feel bad for him because there’s so much pressure on him at this point and this guy hasn’t played not even one minute in the NBA,” Anthony said during the Knicks’ media day “I’m going to try to be a big brother to him and kind of take the pressure off of him a little bit.
“It’s something that he never experienced before … so this is new to him. To be a newcomer to this game, to this league, in New York, that’s tough. I don’t know if he knows what he’s about to get himself into, so I kind of have to be that wall for him.”
Anthony again denied that he had expressed displeasure about Phil Jackson’s decision to draft Porzingis shortly after the NBA draft.
“We got him at No. 4. So what I think at this point is a little bit irrelevant. I’ve showed everybody that I’ve supported that pick,” Anthony said. “I’ve showed everybody that I’ve supported Porzingis. As long as me and KP know our relationship, that’s all that really matters. It doesn’t matter what somebody else might speculate out there.”
Porzingis said he and Anthony trained together over the summer at Anthony’s gym and at the team training facility. The rookie and eight-time All-Star would play games of one-on-one as a big brother for Kristaps Porzingis during for the upcoming season with the Knicks.
“As I played against him, he was showing off all his moves and I was trying to learn from him,” Porzingis said. “… I’m trying to learn as much as I can from him, asking him questions. For me to be around him all day long is great.”
Said Anthony: “I’m just there to be that sounding board and that guy to let him know what’s here to come.”
Shocking, I say, Shocking
The Sports Curmudgeon wrote: “Finally, here is an item from Greg Cote in the Miami Herald demonstrating that some football coaches may indeed be from another galaxy:
“A football assistant coach at Centre College in Danville, Kentucky, took a high-voltage shot from a Taser gun last week in a morale-boosting stunt to increase team unity. It worked, as afterward players unanimously agreed the coach was an idiot.”
Molinaro Marinara
Bob Molinaro (Hampton-Pilot) wrote, “We can all agree, can’t we, that it’s time the MLB playoffs were under way. Way past time. Dragging the regular season into October with mostly meaningless games while fighting off competition from football is a good way to accentuate the tedium of a too-long campaign, not getting the general public excited about the postseason.
When football officials interrupt the game for a replay, why do they announce that the play is “under further review”? Don’t they simply mean “under review??? It can’t be under “further review,” can it, until there is more than one review?”
Perry Patter
Dwight Perry (Seattle Times) wrote: “At TheOnion.com: “Tony Romo reunited with top target Dez Bryant weeks before schedule.”
At SportsPickle.com: “Sam Bradford defeats deer in headlights in staring competition.”
Lucien Favre, coach of Germany’s winless Borussia Moenchengladbach soccer team, resigned just five games into the Bundesliga season.
In other words, faster than you can say “Borussia Moenchengladbach.”
The Minnesota Vikings’ stadium will be the first in the NFL to feature Mamava lactation suites for nursing mothers.
Looks like quarterbacks won’t be the only ones double-pumping.
Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, on Army wideout Edgar Allan Poe. “I wonder if he will get drafted by the Baltimore Ravens.”
At TheOnion.com: “Dolphins coaches trying to fix Ndamukong Suh’s quarterback-throwing mechanics.”;
The Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus agreed to phase out the elephants in their shows next year.
“If it were only that easy,” said the Red Sox, referring to Pablo Sandoval.
A minor-league game involving the Tampa Yankees was canceled due to a giant circus tent behind the center field-fence.
Making it the first time the words “Yankees” and “circus” appeared in a sentence without either “Steinbrenner” or “A-Rod” in it.
He landed in Havana, he landed in D.C., He landed in New York.
In other words, even Pope Francis registered more touchdowns than the Colts did last week.”